I am the Mother Load of Contractions

Hi y´all, this is big bad Dimitri blogging to you from the bright interior of the world´s biggest, baddest fast food chain.  Free wifi and some not-so-bad coffee beckons me.

Here are some of the contradictions that riddle and kill me:

I. Here I am, Mr. F-U-Huge-Corporation . . .

– the man who says ¨FOO Microsoft and Apple¨ and uses Ubuntu Linux software (presently stuck in Russian language, help!) . . .

– Mr. Screw-U-Vancouver-Canucks-U-Got-Me-On-An-Emotional-Rollercoaster-Last-Playoff-Season-Not-This-Year . . . 

– Mr. Anti-Screen a la Neil Postman and Jerry Mander

– Mr. Samsung Nexus Android coz I say Up With Your iPod, you friggin´ sheeple (people who act like passive sheep and follow whoever´s popular at the time)

– a rebel with a cause, blablabla

. . . and I am sitting here in McDiggyD´s

II. I am Mr. Sociable, or at least I like to think I am . . .

. . . and I have this flippin´ bright screened chunk of tech blocking me from interaction with others.  They may think I´m too busy . . .

III. I am Mr. F-U-Coffee who quit the dark brown drug 2 years ago . . .

. . . and now ordering 80% decaf with 20% caf.  Welcome back, addiction . . .

IV. I want 6-pack abs by summer, and he** if I´m going to get them . . .

. . . seeing how I pig out at 9 pm every night:

– whole wheat torrilla wraps caked in peanut butter and 20 cal/tbsp non-sugared jam, with a half glass of red wine, or full glass of chocolate soya milk.

V. Perfect time to go jogging, early in the morn, bird chirpin´ outside . . .

. . . and I gots me fat arse slappin´ the hard chair at Raunchy Ron´s.

VI. There is more, but do y´all think I´m gonna waste your and my time on it . . .

Cheers,

Dimwit Tree

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About sleepless in turtle island

Hi, I´m Dimitri. I have lived in Turtle Island for awhile now, so my cultural understanding is slowly improving. Also, I can see things in this place that boggle my mind. Thus this blog...
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