Blogging After Sex

This is an experiment.  I happened across a site by Daniel Pipes, Middle East commentator.  The blog states:

Most-read pages (source: internal tracking) include:

One curiosity: Although Mr. Pipes rarely writes about sex, this subject dominates the readership totals in all three of his formats: articles (“Arabian Sex Tourism“), blogs (“Strange Sex Stories from the Muslim World“), and comments (“Arab Sex“). In addition, the nearly 10,000 readers’ comments at “Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men” are by far the largest in number. It appears that sex really does sell.

Man, Daniel even has advertising on his site!  Maybe I can in the future, the anti-capitalist I am (didn´t I read NY´s Hunter College´s Professor of Media Studies, Stuart Ewen´s anti-advertising exposé Captains Of Consciousness: Advertising And The Social Roots Of The Consumer Culture).

Well, let´s give it a go . . .

Just had sex, felt so good.  Now I am blogging.  After sex.  Did you get that?

Bleary eyes, I should go to bed.  And sleep.  No more sex.  The pipes can only handle one cleaning per night!

Oh là là!  Men, I think we can all agree that a regular pipe cleaning makes for a healthy, balanced life.  What you say?

And ladies, come on, admit it: pipe cleaning is great for you too.  I always wondered: What do women find so attractive about us men?  Maybe I’ll never figure it out.  As long as you women figure we are doable, hey, all is well!

Trying for a baby.  Sheep! (my sometimes substitute word for ¨shi*¨)  I thought it would be easier.  My colleague told me her son´s doctor mentioned to him that stress can hamper you in getting your wife pregnant.  Really, now?  If that were true, wouldn´t Planet Earth have at least half the population?  Coz we all, all we peeps, get stressed ALL THE FLIPPIN´ TIME!!!  Maybe it´s true . . .

I´ll have to:

(1) de-stress myself through praying to Yah, blogging, playing guitar and writing songs, play-fighting with my son (we´re reviewing Bruce Lee’s Fighting Method: The Complete Edition together), doing Parkour, jogging, reading, watching docs and foreign flicks, etc.

(2) have more sex (rumour has it that this is what killed Bruce Lee!)

(3) uuuuuhhhhh . . . it´s getting too late, me brain isn´t working!

Anyways, blogging after sex is not what it´s cracked up to be.  My back aches, not from the sex, but from a long, busy day at the office.  I´m super tired.  My son, in Zombie-like state, ventured out of his bedroom to the bathroom, while I quickly covered up with a pillow that happened to be lying on this sofa.  My neighbour is the townhouse to our left probably thinks I’m either surfing porn (I quit that way back in 2006!) or watching a UFC re-run.  Who would ever suspect I’m blogging.

And also I can stop pigging out at 9 pm every night so that I can lose the fat on my tummy.  (Here is an article to beat the nightly cravings).  And also I can stop pigging out at 9 pm every night so that I can lose the fat on my tummy.  (Here is an article to beat the nightly cravings).

Go, Dimitri, go!  Yah, pleeeeeaaaaase help!

I’m imagining how I can get this Messianic movement off the ground.  Public lectures?  Start a group?  Go accost people in the local shopping centre food court?  Climb up the Sheraton Hotel with a humongous banner reading, “MESSIANISTS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!”, while I dangle precariously on a rope, calling all local TV stations on my cell (hopefully I can get reception up there!)?  Fast and pray?  Read the Bible through 5 times before the end of this month?  Hmm, Yah, give me wisdom!

Back to the sex.  Yes, sex within marriage is good, very good.  They say, whoever “they” are, that married folk like us have more sex than the unmarried.  Perhaps.  As long as we’re no arguing and resenting each other during the daytime.  Arguing usually makes me want to avoid my wife, and the sex that comes from a close relationship with her.  So, good-bye strife, and hello wife.  Or, as “they” (there “they” are again!), HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE.  Who made that one up?  Heck, there’s even an ABC news report about it, stating that some university researchers confirmed this slogan.

Anyways, thank Yah for sex.  It’s a great human activity.  It shouldn’t be cheapened by porn, prostitution, pimps, religious or non-religious folks, or anyone or anything else.  Keep sex where it belongs: in marriage, where you have a “till death do us part” bond that glues wife and husband together.  That’s the way we’re designed.  Sex is always in the context of a solid, deep and caring relationship between 2 committed lovers.  Anything else is a violation of our consciences and deep inner calling in life.

So there you have it.  Go get married, all you singles, unless you have a calling otherwise.  And you married folk, improve your marriages at all times.  Keep working on it.  It will be worth it in the end.



About sleepless in turtle island

Hi, I´m Dimitri. I have lived in Turtle Island for awhile now, so my cultural understanding is slowly improving. Also, I can see things in this place that boggle my mind. Thus this blog...
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